Monday, March 5, 2012

The Question

The question then becomes why am I content to leave talents and abilities beneath the clouds of my mind?

Why do I not take them out to play? Have I chosen the serious over the humourous in life? Am I that driven?

I can tell you why in four letters: F E A R

Fear slams the lid on fun. Back to the Belief Structures, the acronym of which is - you guessed it – B. S.

I believe that based on the reputation that I have created, I do not want to appear ... well silly.

I want to be ‘in control’ and to look as if I am doing exactly what I ‘should’ be doing. That B.S. came from my childhood when the sting of humiliation from the laughter of others at what I felt was my expense crept into my very soul.

Not something that I want to feel again – so I make every effort, unconscious or otherwise, to lessen the probability.


By shutting down; but reducing myself, but not allowing play to be an integral part of my life.

Again with the why – so my tombstone can read – Jen Parkinson Dead Serious ? J

Drop the charade.





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